Sin & Innocence
by X.x.Try.Defying.Gravity.x.X
Summary: Cersei and Jaime Lannister have always been two halves of a single whole. How can something that feels so right be wrong? (Cersei X Jaime ; Pre- Sack of King's Landing, Pre-GOT).


_AN: This is my first attempt at GoT fanfic. I haven't read past Clash of Kings or seen the show (though I'm reading as fast as I can!), so PLEASE don't spoil me in any comments you may leave. This is also crossposted at AO3. There are most definitely lemons here, so if that's not your thing you will want to avoid this one. __I derived the ages by knowing that Jaime took the cloak at 15 and joined the Kingsguard at 16 at the behest of Cersei so they could be together in King's Landing, and I went from there. I wanted to capture what drew Cersei and Jaime together when they were young in a way that felt real and not creepy, and this was the product. I hope you enjoy it! (PS Please finish the book, George!)_

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The heat of the castle was oppressive. Though the scorching summer sun had long ago slid below the rim of the western horizon far out over the Sunset Sea, it was still uncomfortably sticky. The heat was what kept Cersei from sleeping late into the hours of the night. She tossed and turned beneath the canopy of her bed kicking off all the covers — even the light silk summer sheet.

She had a mad desire to strip naked out of her night shift and sleep with nothing on at all. Admittedly, if her ladies or, worse, Septa Morgaine should chance to come in and find her like that what would she say? That the heat had driven her to madness? That wouldn't do. Her monthly cycle would begin soon, and she had already been feeling moody and out of sorts because of that, let alone this awful heat on top of it. Frankly put, she was hot, tired yet unable to sleep, and emotional.

She felt out of control like this and Cersei Lannister did not like losing control. From her early girlhood, she had always liked being in control both of herself and others. In fact, the only one who she didn't mind having push her around (a little) was Jaime. It was different if it came from her twin. They had always been close and had always understood one another with barely a glance or a word. Male and female though they may be, they were more identical than not and were, and always had been, inexorably connected in such a strong way it was almost tangible to the both of them.

Jaime was the person she was most happy spending time with, the person who brought out her softer side and could make her laugh and smile so easily. Around others she was guarded and wary, keeping up a hardened exterior that protected her. That was just Cersei's way. Jaime could knock down her walls like a cannonball, and Cersei didn't even mind. While she had a whole group of girlfriends to interact with — proper playmates from the best houses in Lannisport — none of them made her as happy as time spent with Jaime. Perhaps that was what she needed to get her out of her foul mood tonight, going to see Jaime. He would distract her with this or that banter and, eventually, she'd make her way back to her chambers and be able to fall asleep. Yes, that was what she'd do, she decided.

Cersei rolled to the edge of the bed and got up. The flagstone floor felt good, radiating cold from the soles of her feet up her body. Irritated with the sweaty, clinging material of her night clothes, Cersei found and changed into a simple summer shift. It was a deep green like the trees and made of loose fabric. She didn't bother with small clothes or shoes. She took an alabaster pin out of her jewelry box and twisted her swath of golden hair up. Maybe getting her hair off the back of her neck would help her to feel cooler. One could only hope.

Despite the darkness, Cersei didn't need a candle to light her way to Jaime's room so often had she ventured there. She met no one in the halls, but it wouldn't have mattered if she did either. She was old enough not to be ordered back to her bedchamber like a child now. Sometimes her sharp manner and voice could even frighten some of the small folk about the castle now — if she needed to. Not Septa Morgaine, unfortunately. She was perhaps one of the few adults who could see right through Cersei and somehow wind up bullying or coercing her into doing what she was 'supposed' to do. But Cersei didn't meet her either. Like as not the old woman was abed by now anyway.

She reached Jaime's room and pushed the door open. However, when her eyes scanned the room Jaime was naught to be found. There was a pile of bedclothes all in a tumble half on and half off the bed and his wolfhound was sleeping on a pallet at the end of the bed, but no Jaime. Cersei let out an irritated sigh. The dog looked up at her with his head on his paws. "Where is Jaime?" The dog cocked his head at her and then simply rolled over, belly up. Cersei was caught between wanting to scream in frustration and laugh. "You useless hound." She said to the dog, but even so — since no one was watching — she snuck over and gave the dog a quick rub on the chest and could hear his thick tail beating on the pallet and his tongue lolled out of his mouth in a doggy grin. "Fool." Cersei said, amused. The dog just wagged harder. She sighed.

Then, she noticed that the door to Jaime's balcony was open slightly. Ah-ha! She crossed to the balcony and slipped out. But there was no Jaime. "Seven hells!" Cersei cursed with no one to hear her oath. "Fine." Cersei muttered. Her eyes swept across the balcony, thinking as Jaime would which was basically only thinking as she would so similar were they. She followed a path from the edge of the balcony down a tree that grew close enough to the balcony to grab and shimmy down. Well, for Jaime that was. He was a head taller than her. Cersei didn't care; the heat and her mood made her of a mind to be reckless.

She caught hold of the bottom of her shift and pulled it most of the way up her legs and knotted it there to keep it out of the way. She climbed onto the railing of the balcony and stood there, eyeing the distance to the tree. She took a deep breath and leapt. She almost squinched her eyes closed but realized at the last minute that would be disastrous. There was a sudden thrill and a drop in her stomach when she felt her feet leave the smooth stone of the balcony and her body launched into the air. It lasted only a second before her hands grasped the rough wood of the branches. She grasped at the branches and barely managed to catch herself. Unfortunately, she was too far from the trunk of the tree to reach it, even swinging with her feet, but Jaime wouldn't have been. Cersei hissed and tried harder to swing herself forward, but she could not reach the trunk and her hands hurt. Her knotted shift was pulled up indecently high on her legs, but, fortunately, she didn't see any guards or servants. That did not mean that they wouldn't come. Her hands let go of the tree more reflexively than of any decision on Cersei's part and she landed in a decidedly ungraceful pile on the grass below. The breath was knocked out of her on impact, but nothing else seemed to be hurt she decided as she sat up and put her shift to rights again.

Cersei looked around and decided that the Godswood was the only logical explanation for where Jaime would have gone. Any other direction would have simply taken him along the side of the castle. Besides, the thick trees would offer a respite from the oppressive heat. Ducking into the trees, Cersei realized it was much cooler here and breathed a sigh of relief as a slight rustling of the trees cast a slight breeze across her skin that gave her goosebumps. 'They're just trees.' She reminded herself irritably. Cersei had never particularly enjoyed the Godswood. She found it a bit creepy, especially the Heart Tree which still stood at the center. Nonetheless, she couldn't deny how much less oppressive it was here with the cool breeze.

The grass tickled her feet as Cersei moved through the woods, slipping through the boughs of trees silent as a specter. Somehow, she didn't need to question where Jaime would go, her feet simply moved. Their connection would always lead them to one another that way, as if an integral part of their minds were shared somehow. She stopped briefly at the sound of moving water realizing she'd come deeper into the Godswood than she realized. One of its central features was a pond large enough for swimming ringed by trees with low hanging boughs. The banks were made up of the softest moss and the view straight up to the stars was nothing short of magical. Wildflowers grew plentiful here, and Cersei had often been sent to pick some by Septa Morgaine.

Jaime was in the pool, but something she couldn't explain made Cersei pause before going forward. There was something beautiful about him in that moment — the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, truly. The moonlight bathed her twin in an ethereal glow and the beads of water on his skin looked like tiny jewels. The water cut his body in half at his waist, but her eyes drank in everything above: the dip of his lower back, the full length of his back with his spine just slightly visible, the strength of his shoulders and the sharp contrast of his shoulder blades, the waves of his hair, beaten gold and just like hers, brushing not quite to the tops of his shoulders.

As children, they'd been so identical even their father sometimes struggled to tell them apart. Cersei couldn't help but smirk at a memory of the two of them when they had been about four and she had insisted that she was a boy, too, like Jaime and they were truly identical but that the Gods had simply forgotten some parts for her. She had said it in the presence of her Lady Mother and Septa Morgaine while they were at their embroidery: the former of whom had looked like she might faint and the latter of whom demanded that she would know where Cersei had gotten such ideas. 'The boy part or the forgetting parts?' she'd asked. Septa Morgaine had closed her eyes for a long minute that Cersei later learned was her counting to ten. 'Both!' Cersei had shrugged slightly and said 'The boy part because we look just like each other and the forgetting part because it's obvious. Jaime can stand and make his water on trees if he wants.' After that Septa Morgaine had curtailed anymore 'inappropriate' and 'heathen' escapades while swimming or otherwise. Cersei couldn't make sense of the reasoning for the first and didn't know what the second meant. Either way, she had figured out that the 'parts' Jaime had and she did not were not a topic for discussion.

"Cersei?"

Her head snapped up, the memory instantly chased away by Jaime's voice. Perhaps it was the ghost of the memory, but Cersei couldn't resist letting her gaze flick across the front of his body as he stepped closer, water now lapping around his thighs. The muscular planes of his chest and abdomen rippled slightly when he breathed. His hip bones jutted out in just such a way and then there were the 'parts' that apparently had somehow become inappropriate when they were four. Cersei was no longer as naive as she had been at four, though. True, she didn't have personal experience, but she had seen. Cersei watched. It was what she did and how she always knew so much that no one realized she knew. It was what made her dangerous; she knew it and liked it. And so she had seen — kitchen wenches not as quiet as they believed, guards not as well hidden as they thought, septons not as a pure as most believed, and a great deal more besides. She had seen enough to know that what she saw now was worth liking. Somehow, that pleased her. It made her glad to know that beneath the silks and finery that Jaime was every inch something to be appreciated and marveled at, just as she was. It was only fitting.

"What are you doing here?" He asked curiously, not bothering to reach for the pile of his clothes on the grass. He had nothing to hide from Cersei and, truthfully, he felt so at ease with her that it never even would have occurred to him to reach for the clothing. She was his twin, his other half, as much a part of him as he was.

"Looking for you."

"And so you found me," Jaime said, a slight smirk on his lips.

"So I have. It was too hot in the castle, and I couldn't sleep."

"So, if I had been able to sleep you'd have woken me."

"Naturally."

"Well, what are you waiting for?" He asked.

She gazed at the water.

"Unless you're scared." He knew she wasn't and had absolutely no doubt it would get her into the water. He was right.

"Why would I be? If I came anywhere near drowning, you'd save me." His laugh was her favorite sound, deep and throaty with merriment gleaming in his eyes.

But he quieted as Cersei skimmed the shift over her head and dropped it on the pile of his clothes. His green eyes were drawn to her. She was the most beautiful woman he had seen — and Jaime Lannister had no small number of women admirers despite his relative youth. They were little more than sows compared to Cersei. He saw milky-white skin, long slender legs, the shadow of golden curls, and the soft swell of her breasts. Her body was the kind of perfection statues were carved in likeness of.

There was a slight ripple of the water and then she was there in the pool with him. She waded a few steps, breathing a pleasant sigh at the feel of the cool water brushing against her hot skin. She sunk deeper into the water and found a spot at just the right depth for sitting with her back against the bank which was higher at that side. Reaching up, she pulled the alabaster pin out of her hair, letting it fall around her shoulders and then let her head rest back on the grass and closed her eyes for a moment. Jaime couldn't resist continuing to watch her as the water slid over her body, pooling in the dip of her stomach and falling down the rise of her arched throat. The moon glistened on her skin. He swallowed hard and had to force himself to look away. A strange part of him wanted to touch her, to be connected to her somehow. He couldn't explain it or reason it out and wasn't entirely sure he wanted to. They'd been connected their entire lives, so why should this be any different? They would always be connected. He lay back against the rocks beside her, strangely content. They were quiet for a time. Sometimes Jaime and Cersei didn't need words.

And then a disconcerting thought stole over Jaime's mind. By the next year, he intended to take the cloak and their father would doubtless arrange a marriage for Cersei. The idea of not seeing Cersei every day, of not playing together and working together side by side as two halves of one whole made him horrorstruck for one awful moment. And then she wouldn't be his Cersei anymore. She would belong to some other man who would make her smile the smile that only he saw and see the Cersei that only he knew. And then he would know parts of Cersei that Jaime would never know. He would have her maidenhead, his seed would quicken inside her so she would bear his children. A flash of anger passed over him as white hot as the temperature of a forge. Cersei was _his_. His and _only _his. His face darkened in anger.

She sensed the change in him before she saw it. She had been laying with closed eyes, just enjoying letting the water lap around her skin. But she felt the wave of anger and … something beneath it. It was pain, she realized, surprised. A deep, burning pain.

Jaime had very rarely been in true pain. He was amazing with a sword, even a blunted one, and that was not even to mention when he rode in tournaments and melees, a privilege which he had only been allowed in the last couple of years. Most of his injuries over the years had been relatively minor. However, the few times he had been truly injured, Cersei had been able to feel a terrible dread in the pit of her stomach.

She remembered a day he was thrown from his horse during a stag hunt two years before. He snapped a bone in his leg that came right through his skin. Though Cersei had been miles away in the castle, she had felt that dread and then a hideous pain in her leg. It had been so bad she had had to go to bed. Septa Morgaine had not been pleased and had asserted she was trying to get out of her lessons, but that had not been the case. She had gone to him the moment the hunting party rode in supporting a moaning Jaime on a litter, but he was immediately swept away and he had been with the Maester all night long while Cersei had demanded to be allowed to see him and finally was permitted to his chambers only well after the middle of the night. He had been so pale and drawn.

So, to feel that kind of pain radiating from him made her turn over in the water instantly. "Jaime?!"

He was surprised when he heard the alarm in Cersei's voice: it was sheer panic. His eyes shot open and he sat up. "What's the matter?"

"That's… what I was going to ask you," Cersei said, worry cloaking her tone as she quickly scooted toward him in the water until she was near enough that her knee, folded beneath her in the shallow water, nearly touched him. But Jaime turned his face away from her. Cersei's heart pounded. He had never done that to her before. Never. "Jaime," she said, firmness and urgency in her voice. She reached out and took his face in her hands to make him look at her and he let her. There was a haunted look in his eyes that distressed her. No one ruled her heart as much as Jaime, and if something was wrong she wanted — no, needed— to know and help him. "Jaime!" She said with more urgency when he faced her but averted his eyes. "Look at me and tell me!" Cersei demanded, but it wasn't in the cruel tone she used with other people. The concern in her voice was so deep.

Finally, Jaime brought his eyes to look at her. "It's selfish," he said simply. "It's me being selfish." He pulled away from her hands.

"No, Jaime. You couldn't be," Cersei whispered. Cersei knew she was capable of being selfish — more than capable, actually. She was selfish and felt no guilt about that, but that wasn't Jaime — in her opinion anyway. "_Tell me_," she intoned with an intensity in her voice he'd rarely heard.

Jaime sighed and nodded, suddenly feeling ashamed. Who was he to get in the way of Cersei's life and happiness? He needed to think rationally. But he could not deny her the truth when she asked that way. He could never deny Cersei anything and didn't want to, and so he spoke. "You are part of me, and I am part of you. And I… was thinking about the fact that our Lord Father is going to arrange a match for you soon enough. You'll go to King's Landing, and I'll be taking the cloak," He swallowed hard. "And we won't be together… anymore. It will be another man who will be together with you. You'll bear his sons and warm his bed."

"No!" The word came out before Cersei had a chance to actually think about it, before she had a chance to actually know what she was even saying, her gut reaction. "No," She said more firmly. "I won't do it."

Jaime shook his head. "It's no good, Cersei," his voice was pained as he slowly reached to touch her face. His touch left a tingly feeling on her skin. She'd never felt anything like it before. She opened her mouth to object but Jaime shook his head. "Listen, Cersei," he said softly, and so she did even though a thousand protests screamed to come out. Jaime took a deep breath. "Our Lord Father will do what he will do. He always has and always will, and there is nothing you or I can do to change that. He will choose a betrothal for you, and you'll have no choice but to accept that. What would you tell him?"

"That I'm not going to go away from you. You're my twin and I need you and you need me." But there was a bad feeling inside her because she remembered her father's passing comments about sending her to King's Landing in a year or so. It had never bothered her because somehow she hadn't thought about what it would mean and a rising panic was filling her like a ship taking on water.

Jaime smiled a bitter, sad smile. "Cersei, do you really expect that is going to move him?"

"I… I don't care! I won't do it! I won't!" Frustration and anger filled her voice which was rising in pitch, but of course there was no one there to hear them. To his surprise, when he looked up at her he saw that her eyes were bright with tears he could tell she was trying hard not to let fall. Cersei hated to cry and had since she was a little girl. She believed it made her look weak, and Cersei Lannister was anything but weak. "Surely you don't want to be away from me either?"

"No. I don't. But I'm not… I'm realistic enough to know that it doesn't matter what we want. We are from one of the best families in the Seven Kingdoms, Cersei." He reached to touch her again gently running his fingers over her cheekbone and holding her face gently against his hand. To his surprise, he felt her turn her face into his hand and press her lips against his skin at the center of his palm. It burned like a brand on him that he could never turn back from, small as it was. A good brand. He bowed his head, closing his eyes and pressing his lips together as pain struck through him again.

And from somewhere inside her, Cersei felt something snap and break. She would not, _could not_, live a life without Jaime in it. He made her _whole_. It didn't matter what she had to do, she realized. Desperate ideas flung through her mind one after the other. They could run away to another castle. They could both refuse what their father wanted, and if they stood together, what would he be able to do? They could even live like small folk if they must — not that Cersei relished the thought at all. Despite her desperation, though, she recognized none of those plans were feasible. Jaime was right. It filled her with a kind of panic she had never before in her life felt. It made her crazy and that was all she could blame for her next actions when she thought about it later with no regret whatsoever.

She was already close to him, her knee folded and their thighs touching slightly as they sat side by side facing one another. It made it easy, far too easy, for Cersei to lean forward and, grabbing his face in her hands one at each side of his jaw, she pulled him toward her and her mouth crashed onto his, hot, hard — forceful even — and with none of the timidity of usual first kisses. Instead, she rushed headlong into it her mouth hard and desperate on his because she was _Jaime's_ and no one else's. A part of her had always known that, and it was simply expanding. It made _sense_.

Jaime felt like his head would explode and every thought was driven out of his mind other than Cersei and right now in this moment. His reaction was decisive, instant, and unquestioning. He pulled her closer to him so she was half in his lap and he was kissing her back just as hard and hot and desperate as her kiss. His stomach lurched when he felt their mouths move together. _Seven Gods above_. It was the only oath that managed to interrupt the haze of his mind, completely blanked out from Cersei's mouth on his and his mouth on hers and her lips. Gods her lips. His tongue brushed across her lower lip and she parted them, allowing their tongues to touch for just a second. She tasted of the red wine they'd drunk at dinner, and it made him heady.

She tasted the wine on him too and just a hint of the cut of meat he'd had but also just an essence of something that was _Jaime_. It was an inexplicable taste all its own and she wanted more of it and wanted it now. Her lips pressed, if it was possible, even harder on his. She caught his lip between hers and sucked it lightly. She didn't know what she was doing, but she knew what felt right. Frankly, she didn't even pause to think about the fact that he was her brother, her twin. Nothing that was wrong could feel so right. And it _did_ feel right. Perhaps, it felt the most right of anything in her entire life — like parts of her were clicking into place that had never fit before.

His lips twisted against hers and parted hers with his tongue gently so he could brush his tongue against hers, just the tip, not going to deep. Cersei let out a quiet sound into the kiss, and it made his heart pound even faster. He wanted her close and wanted it now. Jaime pulled at her until she was closer and her hardened nipples slid against his skin of his chest and right then and there he immediately felt the first hint of arousal, not even noticeable to another person yet, but definitely noticeable to him. He didn't even need to question how she could do that to him. All he could think was that it felt good and he pressed her a little closer so he could continue to feel her nipples on him.

Finally, Cersei broke the kiss, panting and gasping for breath as she fell away from him given the way she had been just balancing leaning toward him. Her whole body was tingling from the tips of her toes to the crown of her head. Identical green eyes met while they were both still trying to catch their breaths. Cersei's lips were swollen and red from the kissing, and she gasped softly when Jaime touched them ever so gently with his thumb, which she brushed her tongue against making him shiver and gasp. She took his thumb into her mouth and sucked it for just a second eliciting another shiver and a quiet sound and, still panting, she slowly sucked each one of his fingers on that hand, just a few seconds each.

She was still panting hard when she'd finished and slowly reached up to touch her own tingling, sensitive lips. She had never imagined that it could feel like this. She had thought the squeals of serving wenches were overdone and ridiculous. She thought sex was something one basically just had to do when married because it was the responsibility of a woman to bear her husband children. She hadn't particularly been attracted to the idea of sharing so much of herself with another person. Except Now. She was still breathing hard and her eyes held his, neither of them looking away.

"He can make me marry. But he won't stop who I love and who I need," Cersei said, staring at Jaime. "Whomever that is can make me share his bed, but I vow to you, Jaime. His seed will never quicken in my womb. It will be yours. Only yours. He will never even spill his seed inside of me. It will be your bed I seek comfort and refuge in."

"Mine?" Jaime asked, still breathing hard and struggling to wrap his mind around this thing she was promising. "How? We…"

"I don't care. You make me happy, Jaime. No one else can do that, so they may not have me. Not really. Not in any way that _counts_." Her stomach twisted in a painfully good way. "I want…"

Jaime scooted close to her again in the position they'd been sitting before. "What do you want, Cersei?" He asked softly.

"I am not going to allow some brute our father chooses and whom I barely know to have my maidenhead. It will be yours, Jaime."

Something inside his might felt as if it were exploding in a beautiful way. It felt right and he never had to question whether it was. He felt that it was so strongly inside himself. He could see from her face Cersei thought the same.

And she did. No one else would have her truly. No one but Jaime whom she loved more than anyone else who walked the earth — more, even, than she loved herself. She wanted him to take her and make love to her and give him that which felt like it _should_ be his. Thinking about Jaime taking her in that way, his cock inside her, made her shudder and a wetness between her legs made her fear her bleeding had come early, but it didn't smell like that. It had a completely different scent.

"_Yes_." He said and his voice was rough and low as he tugged her close to him again.

"_Now_." Cersei said. "Tonight. Here."

Jaime's heart pounded and he felt his cock grow harder in response to her words. He was not quite half hard, but it already felt amazing. He realized he wanted nothing more. Cersei was his. Just as he had thought before and he wanted her in every way he could have her. He wanted to press his cock inside her warm, wet, tight, heat. Just thinking about that made him shudder almost visibly. Gods yes it was what he wanted and he could tell from the look on her face it was what she wanted. He didn't need to ask. And he_ felt_ it from her too. He didn't want to rush though. He wanted to take his time and make love to her properly if he was going to take her maidenhead. It needed to be right. She didn't hesitate and her lips crashed back on his and he muttered, "Yes." Into her mouth. "_Yes_." He intoned again, a low note in his voice she hadn't heard before.

"It will have to be a secret."

"I don't give a fuck." Jaime hissed and crashed his mouth against hers again and pulled her toward him until her soft, round breasts were flush again the hard skin of his chest. The feel of his skin aroused her and made her nipples even harder and the mysterious wetness between her legs just accumulated more along with a strange tingling feeling, but she didn't give it any thought right now. Her entire mind was filled with thoughts of Jaime. Only Jaime. He was all that mattered to her.

She felt and heard his groan as he pulled her into his lap and attacked her swollen lips with his own again. She could feel his arousal against her skin. She liked it and it sent a shudder through her body. His fingers twined in her hair, supporting the back of her head with one hand as they kissed. Blindly, she grabbed for his other hand, found it, and brought it to her breast. She felt him gasp into the kiss as his fingers splayed around the soft mound of flesh. A quiet sound came in the back of her throat when he brushed his thumb slowly over her hardened nipple and around it too. Her breathing was erratic causing their lips to slip from each other's now and then but always crashing back against each other. Their kisses were as hard and wild as the waves on the Sunset Sea in a storm.

Somewhere in her mind, Cersei recognized she had wanted this though it hadn't been a conscious desire she was aware of. Their bodies were a tangle of flesh against flesh and she just wanted to be even closer. His fingers wound into her hair, tangling there and pressing her into the kisses as firmly as she pressed herself there. She tangled her arms around his shoulders, moving her hands over the planes of his back and shoulders and everywhere she could reach. She brushed her nails over his skin and made him shudder beneath her, which she liked.

She felt Jaime part her lips and made a soft sound as he brushed against her tongue with his own, exploring her mouth more fully now. His fingers knotted in her hair were almost forceful, but she didn't care as her tongue met his and warred with it a moment before she explored his mouth too. She felt him pull her swollen lip into his mouth and suck it, brushing his tongue across it as he did and at the same time brushing the thumb of the hand on her breast against her nipple again. Her toes curled. She let out a soft moan, not bothering to hide it because there was no one to hear her but Jaime, whose heart pounded faster at the sound of it and she felt it flush against her own heart pounding a matching staccato rhythm. The more he did, the more sticky wetness accumulated between her legs, coating her thighs now and there was an ache that felt good. There was a sensation of needing something with that ache. "Jaime, please!"

"Not. Yet." He panted in response. He slipped his hand away from her breast and she would have complained but he didn't give her a chance, pressing his mouth on hers again and sliding his fingers between the valley of her breasts, down her stomach, and between her legs until he could feel the wetness against his fingers and brushed them across her swollen cunt, his other hand still tangled in her golden curls, unable to let go. He loved the feel of her: the soft skin, the swollen sex, the warm sticky fluid on his fingers. He explored her curiously, his finger ringing her entrance while his thumb traced upward, finding swollen, sensitive flesh. When he touched it, brushed it, a white hot flash appeared against the inside of her closed eyes and her entire body writhed as wetness coated his fingers. A desperate, wanton moan escaped the back of her throat as he continued.

"Come on." He mumbled against her lips, wanting a soft place for them to continue rather than the rough rocks against which his back was pressed. She seemed to understand even though she made a frustrated sound. When he made to stand, Cersei realized her legs were so shaky she wasn't sure they would support her and her whole body trembled as suddenly cold-feeling air accosted her skin. He understood and without a word lifted her into his arms and carried her to the soft, mossy grove beneath the trees and let her down to sit in the soft moss while he, on his knees, spread their clothing to make a bed for them. Cersei hated the feeling of her body being apart from his and helped him spread the clothing.

She couldn't resist looking at him kneeling there with slightly spread legs while he worked with the silks, his cock swollen and hard. Somehow, she didn't question how it would fit inside her. Jaime had always been a part of her. Always. She reached forward without hesitation and wrapped her fingers around him. Jaime shuddered hard when she did it, the same white flash echoing behind his own closed eyes. A half gasp, half moan ripped from the back of his throat. That first sound he made caused a clenching deep inside of her and sent her breathing crazy. Jaime found himself nearly frozen there, shaking as Cersei touched him. He grabbed her hand and moved it upward, manipulating her fingers beneath his, showing her how to stroke the sensitive tip with her fingers, which she did without hesitation and this time his moan was slightly louder. Her hand felt so much different than when he had used his own touch to pleasure himself. How could it feel so different? Pants ripped from his mouth as she held him and brushed her thumb again and again over the place he'd showed her was most sensitive. She realized that beneath her touch, he was getting wet the way she was. Her hand slipped down his length and her fingers brushed against the sensitive sac beneath his cock, rubbing it too. In a moment, he went tumbling into the silks, unable to hold himself up and she went tumbling with him, their limbs a tangled mess.

He reached to touch her swollen lips. He liked those. There was a queer, wet taste on his fingers when she took them into her mouth and sucked them. He tipped his head back and gasped softly when she sucked his fingers that way. Both of their bodies were heated, shaky, sweaty. She could feel that his hair was damp with sweat when her fingers slipped up the nape of his neck and drew him down over her to kiss him, her tongue brushing against his in their kiss. She pulled him closer, down onto her so she was taking part of his weight. She felt his cock pressed against her thigh. She wanted Jaime more than anything she had ever wanted in her entire life. She wanted him inside her, making them one the way they always should have been.

But Jaime seemed to have other ideas. He slid down her body, deriving an unplanned but intense pleasure from rubbing himself against her skin. He was positive he had never been this hard ever. This was so much more intense than anything he had imagined before. He pressed his open mouth and tongue in a heated trail down her lower stomach, loving the taste of her skin with a hint of salty sweat. He met the mound of golden curls between her legs that felt almost like when he'd forgotten to shave for a few days. He pressed his mouth against her, reaching to part her folds with his fingers until he could brush his tongue and lips against her most sensitive places: against where, soon enough, she would take him and against the swollen mound of flesh. Her taste was strange in his mouth, but he liked it. It was like some strange mixture of salt, Valerian steel, and oyster the way it's served on a half shell. It was _Cersei_. And because it was her, he liked it. The strange combinations of tastes might not be appealing otherwise, but it was _her_. It was the person he loved more than anyone or anything on earth, and he loved the feel of how she squirmed and gasped beneath him when he pleasured her with his tongue and lips.

Cersei felt as if something inside of her was going to break, to explode. She couldn't lessen the desperate pants coming from deep in the back of her throat accompanied by soft gasps and quiet moans. Where before she had been writhing, now she wasn't able to move at all and she couldn't have strung two words together coherently if she had tried. All she could think was his name over and over. The warm ache that had begun in her belly had started to radiate further through her body. She could feel her heart pounding between her legs and in her chest both. It was completely all consuming and she could think of nothing else except the sensations. She felt her toes curling again and couldn't manage to straighten them out. Her thighs felt shaky. All of her felt shaky and light and heavy at once. She managed to move, and it was to grab Jaime's hand hard and hold tight to him as a sudden feeling of relief washed over her like waves one after another, getting more and more intense the more of them there were for what seemed like forever and yet too short at the same time.

She never let go of Jaime's hand.

And when it was over she was shaking uncontrollably with her fingers still clasped in his. She felt him groan softly, sliding up again, he rolled with her for a moment, pulling her onto his body and beginning to kiss her again. And even though she was still shuddering and had no idea what had happened to her, she wanted those kisses. She craved them and returned them in kind. Her hands moved across his heated skin and she wanted the weight of him back on her the way it had been a little bit before. And as soon as she was able to move, she rolled again pulling him with her to feel his warm weight over her and clung to him. All she wanted was this moment and never to leave it. Despite how good her body felt, it was like she needed, wanted something more. Their kissing continued, minutes or hours she didn't know and didn't care because it could never be long enough.

His hands moved across her skin with increasing deftness, starting to know what she liked and what caused her to make the best sounds. They kissed and touched and moved together and he was so hard he ached. He wasn't sure how much longer he could stand the desperate temptation to bury himself inside her. His whole body felt taut as a bow string. "Cersei." He managed through their kisses.

"Yes," she responded. She knew their minds were joined, thinking the same thoughts the way they so often did. She wanted him inside her. The warm ache from the beginning had begun to fill her again. That one she had felt when she had begged him and he'd said 'not yet.' But this time she knew he wouldn't say no again. She felt him cover her more, supporting part of his weight but letting her have part of it too. She pulled him more onto her. Her hand was still tangled in his. He used his free hand to lift her head from the silks and hold it in his hand while he kissed her again, cradling her head, tasting her lips, needing, _needing_. He let go of her hair and wrapped his arm around her back, pulling her up close to him. Her back arched toward him and Jaime groaned, wrapping his knee closer around her hip and rocking back and forth for a moment to rub himself in the warm wetness nestled between her thighs causing Cersei to moan and writhe again. Her fingers loosened from his and wrapped around his shoulders, holding onto him so tightly. With slightly shaking fingers he parted her and pressed himself inside her, just a little at first, but he couldn't help pressing further when he felt tight, wet heat close around him.

Cersei let out a little yelp from the back of her throat, and Jaime's eyes flashed open meeting hers, afraid he'd hurt her too much. Cersei closed her eyes and panted through the burning sensation of Jaime entering her, filling her, stretching her for the first time. It did hurt and there was no denying it, but it passed as she dug her fingernails into his skin, leaving marks and bruises that would be there in the morning her grip was so tight. Initially it was a sharp pain like something breaking but then it faded to a much more dull ache and he held still for her, waiting for her to be used to him inside her. She didn't need to say she was okay for him to understand.

She shifted, moving her knee around his waist and there was another echo of the ache as he slid deeper inside her, but the movement caused something else too. It was an almost rippling sensation of something beautiful and perfect. It felt… indescribably good as he began to move inside of her, rocking his hips where he was on top of her and sending heady, amazing sensations all through her. Instinctually, her back arched and her hips wanted to move with his and she let them, matching his movements, her discomfort all but forgotten, though she knew she would ache in the morning. That didn't matter. Her Jaime was inside her — _that_ was what mattered. There was a look on his face that Cersei wanted to see there again and again. His eyes were closed and his lips were parted in a silent moan while he panted and moved inside her. It was a face of unbridled pleasure.

Jaime's mind felt unable to think and he didn't need to. All he needed was to stay inside her, to move with her, to kiss her with open mouths and tongues touching and hands moving over warm bodies. This was much more intense than even when she had touched him with her hands and it was making him shake all over even as he rolled his hips on hers and kept feeling her take more of him as her body continued to open for him the better she felt. Her muscles were tight around him and nearly made him crazy with sensations. He could feel his stomach clenching deep inside as his body began to tingle oh-so-wonderfully. It was only a few minutes, but it was the best few minutes of his entire life thus far. He wanted this to last, but he could feel the building of muscles squeezing and contracting, spreading from his stomach and further. He clung to her tighter. He teetered on the edge of release and when she pressed her hips up against him her name was ripped from his lips, from deep inside him: "Cersei!" and he came hard inside of her, filling her, spilling out of her and down the insides of her thighs too. It was more than usual. It felt good to know he had filled her like that.

He couldn't hold his body up, and they collapsed in a heap on the silks. She was panting just as hard as he was. Her green eyes were soft as she stared up at him and touched his face, brushing a golden wave of hair from his eyes. She took his face and pulled him to her, kissing him fiercely. He was going to pull out of her, but she stopped him with a touch. "No. Stay." She said and kissed him again. She wanted to feel one like that with Jaime for as long as possible. And so he stayed holding her, kissing her softly, running his hands through her tangled hair until he was too soft to stay in her any longer. Her whole body felt a good kind of ache she couldn't describe. He'd reached the deepest parts of her.

When she finally moved to sit up a little, she looked down and saw that there was blood on her skin and on the silks where they had made love. Her maidenhead. And she felt no regret. Jaime met her eyes and didn't need to actually ask her as she reassured him with her own gaze and a surprisingly tender kiss that she was okay. Cersei Lannister did not have regrets. Ever.

"What should we do with it? No one can find it," she nodded to the bloodstained clothing.

"I'll take care of it," Jaime reassured her. No doubt he could find someplace to burn it later, and she nodded.

She looked so beautiful, her skin rosy and glowing and her hair tumbling about her shoulders, and her lips so soft and swollen. He touched them softly and smiled at her. "Come here," he breathed to her. He gathered her into his arms and carried her into the water and sat down with her in a comfortable place.

He cupped water in his hands and slowly, gently began to wash her body with it. He poured it down her back, over her hair, her chest, he made a point to use soft hands to clean the blood and cum from the swollen place where he had so recently been inside her and from her legs as well. It was perhaps the tenderest touch Cersei had ever known and she let him wash her and leaned her face against him. And when he was done, she cupped her own hands in the water and washed him too, stopping long enough to link her fingers in his when she got to his hands. Though her body was still shaky and tired, she leaned up on her knees long enough to kiss him long and slow, tangling her fingers into his golden hair that she loved. He kissed her back for a long time, slow and gentle, full and sweet and then hugged her close to him, just holding her.

Finally, after a time of quiet she said, "As you said, there has been talk of sending me to King's Landing. I never paid it much mind. Come with me. Join the Kingsguard and we can be together," she whispered, caressing his cheek in her hand.

Jaime was quiet for a minute. He had never been interested in political intrigues. He looked forward to taking the cloak, but he wanted to battle and defend the realm. The idea of watching Aerys Targaryen's royal head day in and day out did not appeal to him. But when he looked at her green eyes and thought about her away from him, thought about not being able to have her as he just had was too much to bear. Finally, he touched her cheek again and ran his fingers through her damp hair. "All right. I will," and his mouth curved into a little smile.

He was quiet a while longer and finally made to stand and helped her do the same. "We need to go back before dawn comes and people wake." She realized he was right, though she hardly relished the thought of parting from him after their night together. She could feel his reluctance as well, but he was right that they didn't have a choice — particularly since they had no clothing fit to put on. "We can walk as far as the edge of the trees together and I'll show you where you can sneak in that's likely easier than falling out of a tree."

"But I! How did you…." Cersei began not even able to deny that she had, indeed, fallen out of a tree.

"Because you are mine and I know you," He said, leaning to kiss her full and soft once more.

She shook her head but was smiling even so. And then a shadow passed across her face for barely a second. Trees. Godswood. And she remembered the Heart Tree with its creepy red, sap-run eyes and the slight whisper of breeze when she had entered the wood even though there had been absolutely no breeze outside of the forest. She remembered that the old Gods abhorred incest above almost all else. But Cersei Lannister did not set any store by the Old Gods. And, yet, she said, "Let's walk the long way. Then we can stay together longer." It was, she told herself, purely coincidence that the long way would not take them past the Heart Tree in the center of the forest.

Jaime looked at her and the hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. For just a second there was a knowing look in his green eyes, and she could have sworn he understood exactly what was going through her mind. If he did, he said nothing about it and said only, "As you say."

Then, Jaime leaned to kiss her soft mouth and whispered to her after he had done it — a phrase that had a thousand shades and to which, tonight, another had been added. "I love you, Cersei."

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A/N: Well.. if you've stuck with me to the end, thank you SO much for taking time to read my work. I hope you enjoyed it. I may add further pieces at different times in their lives if there is enough interest. Please leave me reviews if you've enjoyed this story and have time.


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